How free are you?

Some people pretend that they are completely free to make their own decisions.
But it’s not true.
Everyone is influenced in an endless number of ways.

Don’t give up, though!
We can focus on maximizing our freedom.

Learn about the common forces that influence you, and you have a chance to neutralize those influences, or use them to your advantage!

One of the ways that we make decisions is through comparison.

Most people donâ€t know if they want something, unless they compare it to other things.

Letâ€s say that there are two different items that Iâ€m planning to buy.
One has a retail price of $20, and one has a retail price $200.
A seven dollar discount off the $20 item seems great, and Iâ€ll go out of my way to get to the store that offers that discount.

But a seven dollar discount off a $200 item?
Iâ€m not likely to go out of my way to get that.
It seems like no big deal.

But itâ€s still the same $7 that Iâ€m saving!

You can be sure that marketers are aware of this, and use it to make an item seem more desirable.

Have you ever bought something, just because of the money youâ€d save?

One way to resist the influence of a good buy, is to change your point of view.
Instead of looking at the buy in terms of what youâ€re saving, look at the total spend in the bigger context of your available money, priorities, etc.

Zoom out, to take a wider point of view, the pull of some little advantage gets much weaker.

Thereâ€s another problem with our love of comparison.
On our own, we tend to ignore choices that are difficult to compare to what we know.

Marketers, on the other hand, use uniqueness to sell.
Theyâ€ll make their choice sound really good, and then emphasize the uniqueness of the product so much, that we canâ€t compare it to anything else.

Put uniqueness in perspective, by asking yourself if that unique benefit is really so unique, and if itâ€s valuable to you.

 
Ownership
Studies consistently show that owners value their things more than buyers are willing to pay.

Why?
We fall in love with the things we possess, and even the ideas that weâ€ve accepted.

How does this effect how we decide and buy?

The feeling of losing something we own, is more important to us than the money we get for selling it.

Similarly, if weâ€ve already mentally taken possession of some potential object, the thought of losing that ownership far outweighs what it costs to buy it.

Marketers make use of this bias in two ways, so be prepared:

• Companies give us a free or ridiculously cheap trial ownership in a product or service. They want us to feel ownership, and they know that weâ€ll hate to give it up when the trial is over.
• Companies give us guarantees. Just try it, and return it if you donâ€t like it. The companies know that once we take possession of something, weâ€re not likely to give up the ownership.

Protect yourself.
Ignore trials of things that you donâ€t really want.
And donâ€t let a guarantee sucker you into trying something out that doesnâ€t really interest you.

Youâ€re always told that you have nothing to lose by trying out some product.
But you do.
Once you try something, and take possession of it, itâ€s much harder to return it, even if you donâ€t really like it that much.

 
Iâ€ll Decide Tomorrow
Most of us feel compelled to put off our decisions, and keep our options open.
We push off making a choice, even it when it costs us money, energy, or time.

When we see options disappearing, even unexciting options, the immediate threat of loss makes those options seem big and important.

The antidote to delay is focusing on the consequences of not deciding.
Every delay is a decision.
Every delay has consequences.

We lose many opportunities because we delay making decisions.

The post Freedom to be Irrational? first appeared on Fearless Dreams.

Do you analyze the situation, and weigh all the pros and cons before taking action?
Or do you just go with your gut, without giving it much thought?

Whichever way you decide, you probably feel that youâ€re in charge of your decisions, and your life.

Sometimes our gut feelings are based on all kinds of subtle issues that our unconscious mind has digested to give us a quick answer.

Sometimes our feelings express what is truly important to us, even though we havenâ€t put it into words and thoughts.

Thereâ€s nothing wrong with going with your feelings.
Conscious thinking isnâ€t the only way to understand the world.

But our feelings are not always our own.

The world around us shapes our feelings.
Weâ€re led to desire things, or act in ways that donâ€t make sense rationally, and go against our deepest feelings of whatâ€s really important in our lives.

Iâ€m happy going with my feelings if theyâ€re really mine, if theyâ€re based on whatâ€s really important to me.

Inner Forces
There are people around us that manipulate our feelings for their own financial, political, or personal goals.

But thatâ€s not the only way that our feelings and thoughts get twisted.

Our mind is built in ways that favor certain types of thinking, feeling, and acting.
(You can think of these as inner forces that shape our behavior.)

Often these forces work to our advantage.
But sometimes, they work against us.

Recently, Iâ€ve read two powerful books that reveal some of these inner forces that drive irrational behavior.
Both books are based on solid research, but theyâ€re written for ordinary, intelligent people to read and enjoy.

In this blog post, weâ€ll explore the first one, Sway, by Ori and Rom Brafman.
Weâ€ll provide an overview of some of the forces at work within you.

Iâ€ve also added some ideas about how you can consciously weaken the power of these forces so you can make a more clear-headed choice.

Pain vs. Gain
We feel the pain associated with a loss (or an anticipated loss) much more strongly than the joy of experiencing a gain.

Itâ€s like your brain turns up the volume on the pain of loss, so you canâ€t hear the joy of gain.

How does this change the way you act?
You naturally focus, or even obsess on minimizing loss, instead of maximizing gain.

This force makes you avoid trying new things and making changes in your life.
Youâ€ll do anything to avoid making a mistake.

Counterforce:

1. The best choices offer long-term benefits.If we stay focused on little moments, weâ€ll always be afraid of losing some quick, instant pleasure.

   Consciously focus on the long-term benefits.
   Build up those benefits in your mind.
   Make the sounds louder, the image brighter, the colors more vivid.

   Turn up the volume on those benefits.
   Then compare them to the little things that give you quick pleasure.

2. Thereâ€s something even more powerful that you can do.
   Your mind loves to focus on what you might lose.
   Your mind wants to protect the things that it possesses, or pretends to possess. 

   Let it.

   Think about the powerful things that you want, that you find so hard to act upon.
   Take possession of them in your mind.

   Feel them as yours.
   Feel yourself enjoying the benefits.

   Donâ€t obsess on the fear of losing them.
   But let yourself feel that fear for just a moment.

   And let yourself feel a strong desire to protect those precious possessions.

 
Commitment
Once you make even a small commitment to an approach, itâ€s hard to consider alternatives.

Counterforce:
Take a few minutes.

Imagine several different people who have made dramatically different choices.
See them committed to different choices, paths, lives.
And see each one happy and enjoying her life.

Let each one totally forget about the other choices, and just enjoy what she has.

Itâ€s easier sometimes to imagine other people making different choices.
Itâ€s not as unsettling as imagining a different life for yourself.

 
Chameleon Effect
People change their behavior and performance to match the opinions people have of them.

Treat me as mediocre or weak, and Iâ€ll absorb that view, and act that way.
Iâ€ll take on your image of me.

Counterforce:
Imagine yourself happier, more successful, more confident, or more powerful.
(Success can be anything you want it to be: relationships, family, career, business, money. You define it)

Now imagine successful people treating you as a successful person.
See and hear the way that they interact with you.
Feel the emotion in their voices, and see the emotion on their faces.

They see you as a different person.
Now accept their image of you.

 
Group Conformity and Dissent
Thereâ€s a powerful force within us that pushes us to go along with others and not stand out.
Itâ€s much easier to think for yourself, and take a different point of view/action, when there is even one person already dissenting.

Counterforce:
Whenever it seems that you have to choose what everyone is choosing, imagine a powerful, popular person who is calmly choosing a different path than everyone else.

See that person as friendly and well-liked.
Pick any point of view for him as long as itâ€s different than the crowd.

This opens you to possibility, and gives you more freedom to make your own choices.

(In part 2 of this series weâ€ll explore the book, Predictably Irrational)

The post Make Your Own Decisions! first appeared on Fearless Dreams.