How Do You Live With Fear?

Thought, Feeling, and Imagination
Many of us live with patterns of thought and feeling that ignite our fears. These patterns begin with habitual thoughts that are negative. We think about how we’ve been hurt before, and we drift into fear and anger. We think about all the things that could go wrong with a situation, or our life, until fear grows within us.

Change the way that you think in your quiet moments, and change the way that you think in response to common situations, and you can stop many of your fears. Cognitive Therapy focuses on this approach.

Also, our thoughts, when combined with powerful, positive feelings, can motivate us to move past our fears. We can overcome the power of fear with another stronger feeling.

You need to find or build in yourself a strong desire or feeling for something you want, such as the freedom that the fear denies you.

But you need more than thought to build such a strong feeling.
You need the power of imagination, carefully applied. Imagine an extraordinary future time, and experience it with as many of your senses as you can imagine, and fill that imagined moment with the feelings that will surround you. There are many books and courses that teach the use of imagination to invoke powerful, motivating feelings.

If you associate a thought with a feeling long enough, it becomes automatic. This can work to your benefit if the feeling is a strong, positive one. It can work against you when the automatic feeling is one of fear.

Therapy
There are many traditional therapies that can help you overcome fear. We mentioned Cognitive Therapy but there are others that can help you.

(Resources: Many fears and phobias can be weakened or released with one of the newer energy therapies such as EFT, EmoTrance, or TFT.)

Action
We use various ways to get past a small, even trivial fear, and we build up the experience of acting in the midst of fear. It’s like building a muscle. If we do enough of it, we may find ourselves with the strength to act in the midst of greater, and greater fears.

We don’t get rid of all of our fears. We learn to feel our fears, and not be overcome by them. They don’t hold us back anymore.

(Resource: The books by Susan Jeffers, such as Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. )

Willpower
My guess is that you’re not going to like this one.
You probably feel uncomfortable, just reading about it.

When I hear the word “willpower”, it makes me think of the times when I have no willpower.

For example, I think of times when I’m carried away by hunger to eat more than is good for me. I remember having a fleeting thought that I’m eating too much, but that thought is buried in a moment.

So when someone mentions the word “willpower”, it reminds me of my weakness.
It also reminds me of people who say, “just do it.”

That doesn’t seem to help very much, does it?

Ok. I’ll take a deep breath, and get over the unpleasant memories of being weak.

Can I build up a force within me that allows me to ignore fear or anything else that tries to distract me, or hold me back?

Well, there are people who can focus on a goal so strongly that they can resist nearly all distractions.

Where do we start?

Willpower is nothing more than the power to choose what you want, and act on that choice.

It sounds simple enough in theory.
It’s following through with it, in the face of distractions, that’s tough.

Some people live life, making choices based on what’s most meaningful to them.
Other people react their way through life, being pulled or pushed by the forces they encounter.

Building up your willpower is possible, but for many people, it’s the hardest way to overcome fear, and it may take time to build it up.

Still, whatever other methods you use to combat fear, start building up your willpower.

Think about what’s important to you.
Search inside yourself for goals that have strong feelings associated with them.
Clearly state your goals, determine the first thing that you need to do to move toward your goals.

Then make some choices each day about how you use your energy, time, and money to support the next step you must take to move toward your goals.

However much you struggle against fear, it will never defeat you, as long as your thoughts and heart and imagination are open to see great possibilities that wait for all of us.

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3 comments to How Do You Live With Fear?

  • What the mind causes, the mind can cure. If only people would realize that feelings are triggered by thoughts. That includes feelings of worry and fear, as well as feelings of joy, peace, and happiness.

    You talk about willpower. The imagination is a million times more powerful than willpower. So all one really needs to control their feelings is to use their imagination. And all one really needs to cure their fears is their imagination.

    Start now by anchoring memories of pleasant times when you were happy, peaceful and safe, or by using your imagination to create a fantasy of being happy, peaceful and safe, and anchor those feelings.

    While you are in that positive memory feeling those positive feelings, or while you are in that fantasy experiencing those positive feelings, you can create a kinesthetic anchor by touching the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb and making a little “OK” sign with your fingers.

    In other words, by touching your two fingers together while you are creating those good feelings, your unconscious mind will create an association between those feelings and the touch of your two fingers. Thereafter, you can trigger the good feelings just by touching the two fingers together.

    You do this to get these positive thoughts and feelings at your fingertips and ready in advance.

    Each time that you find your persistent thoughts taking you to a negative place, or making you feel a negative emotion, intentionally change your thoughts to to those positive thoughts by triggering your anchor – trigger the anchor by touching the fingers together

    In very short order you will create a conditioned response. The negative thoughts will actually start to trigger the positive thoughts. This puts you in control of your feelings.

    These are well known NLP techniques. There are others that are even more powerful for eliminating fears and phobias – like the NLP V/K Disassociation technique. I could go on. But by now hopefully you will see that if you are great at making yourself experience bad feelings by thinking negative thoughts, you will be just as great at making yourself feel great by intentionally thinking positive thoughts.

  • Very nice post. If I might add my two cents, I’ve found that whatever it is, fear, resistance, etc – just making friends with it, welcoming it, acknowledging it, accepting, feeling it – and then doing what you have to do. That works best for me. Trying to fight your resistance and your fears is another form of self violence. Just my opinion ;)

    Cheers,
    Albert | UrbanMonk.Net
    Modern personal development, entwined with ancient spirituality.

  • […] How Do You Live With Fear?) fear» personal development» resistance» […]

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