Not Enough Abundance


What does abundance mean to you?

The horizon, the sky, a full heart, a beautiful home, endless money, choices, true love, a long life, health, beauty, friends?

For my son, who is 10, it means a tall pile of books from the library to fill his leisure time. For me, abundance is part of feeling free.

Sure, money is what comes to mind for many of us, at first.  Money brings choices, and we imagine that large amounts of money will enable us to be/do/have anything in the world, and free us from every uncomfortable feeling and thought.

When we’re missing something (health, money, friends, joy), and feeling that lack, we try to erase the feeling in us that says my world is incomplete, and behind that the voice that says, “I’m not complete.”

There’s a big gap between the fact of not being able to buy something I want, or even pay my bills – and the feeling that I’m not complete, and that there’s something wrong with me.  It’s a gap that passes by in a moment for most of us, but it’s there.

We might define abundance as freedom from that feeling of “not enough”.

Is abundance just freedom from a situation that seems to be closing in on us like a prison? Is it something as simple as getting enough food to eat, or getting enough money to pay our bills.

Or is it having so much money and “goodies” and spiritual experiences that we can’t think of anything else to possibly want?

No. There will always be something I don’t have, something I can’t do, someone that I’m not.

The odd thing about the feeling of “not enough” is that you carry it with you as you pass from poor to rich.  The feeling may no longer be focused on a house or car or spouse or a certain amount of money, but it’s still there, and it’s always looking for something else to focus on.

Some people say that all they need is “just enough”.

There are people who are satisfied with what they have in material possessions, because they are primarily focused on other aspects of their lives that are more important to them. They still feel that they’re missing something, they just set that feeling aside.
And these people are rare.

For most of us, there’s no such thing as just enough.
You may have just enough to cover your bills, or fulfill some particular desire.  But there’s no comfort, and no peace with “just enough”. You’re surrounded with endless images of having more, and your imagination adds to the images that surround you.
As soon as you come to “just enough”, you inevitably raise the bar, aim higher, and “not enough” is back.

What do we do?  Do we find a way to reduce our expectations to the point that we don’t desire anything, and don’t care about anything? Do we declare that it’s all meaningless, so that there’s nothing left to want?

Tragically, some people try this. They might banish the feeling of “not enough” like this, but they’re replacing it with an endless emptiness where more is just not possible, and abundance can’t exist.

Deep inside, we are all desperate to banish that feeling of being “not enough”, being limited, being trapped, being enslaved. Often we don’t know why we feel that way, but we know inside that we’re all meant to feel free. We want to feel free, unlimited, and unstoppable.

I may try to approximate that feeling of limitlessness and freedom by surrounding myself with lots of stuff, or people, or ideas, or experiences, or by searching to free myself from the things that seem to limit me the most. But I keep returning to feeling stuck, or else I bury the feelings so deep that I’m left with only a subtle feeling that something’s wrong.

Real freedom is ultimately tied to a feeling of the infinite.
What is infinity? Infinity is more than just a really big number. You can’t get there through action. You can’t ever get there by counting up to it.

And whatever the difficulties that fill our everyday lives, freedom is ultimately something inside of us.  Just as “not enough” is a feeling that goes beyond any particular life situation, abundance is also a feeling that is independent of any particular situation.

Abundance is a feeling of joy and gratitude for the world that I live in, and the things I have, and the friends and loved ones who share my life. It’s finding the infinite in what’s already here with me.

Abundance admits that there are endless possibilities still before us, and that there are people who live differently than us. It allows us to want more, yet see an incredibly rich existence right where we are.

Strangely enough, the more possibility, the more infinity that we can see in who we already are, and in what we already have — the more possibility we can see waiting for us tomorrow, and around the corner.

1 comment to Not Enough Abundance

  • I think sometimes folks don’t feel worthy of abundance.

    The way I was raised it was shunned to have “too much” because there were those that had so little. It was a guilt issue.

    Now that I think for myself, I realize I can’t give what I do not have. The more I have (money, happiness and love…. etc.) the more I can truly give!

    I did a shift in my thinking…

    Thanks for the thoughts again!

    Mon

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