Is Society Based on Fear?

(There are real dangers in this world, and the emotion of fear can be a useful response to alert us to those dangers. Even then, we have to be willing to look at those fears, and see what action we need to take.

However, there are many fears that we carry with us which do not protect us, but only imprison us. This post focuses on these fears.)

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself

There are many feelings, actions, and thoughts that we don’t like to talk about.

We pretend they don’t exist.
We act as though mentioning them aloud would take them out of some shadowy, dream world, and make them more real than we can handle.

What are we most afraid to talk about?
Our fears.

We share some of those fears with friends or family or therapists or advisers, but usually, we’ll do almost anything, rather than admit that we’re afraid.

Why do we feel so compelled to hide from our fears?
Warriors have been the standard role model for men in many cultures. Courage and confidence have long been character traits that men were expected to acquire.

And now that we have begun to treat men and women more alike, courage and confidence have become traits for women to measure themselves against, as well.

But let’s look closely at the ideal that we’re supposed to chase.
We would all love to be perfect, without doubts, and afraid of nothing.

Sorry. We’ve missed the boat.
Confidence doesn’t mean to live without doubt, and courage doesn’t mean to live without fear.

Confidence is having trust in yourself, feeling that you’ll be able to act in the face of uncertainty, and ambiguity.

Courage is the ability to act in the face of fear.

Circle of Fear

There’s a double standard about fear.

If your fear is common, like a fear of death, or public speaking, then it’s considered socially acceptable.

But if you’re afraid of things that the average person sleeps through, then you’re not normal. And if your fear of ordinary things stops you from doing things like driving, or going outside, then you have a phobia.

Some fears are strong, and loud, and clearly seen. They haunt us, and stand in front of us wherever we turn.

Other fears are quiet, and as hard to grasp as shadows.

We don’t see how even those quiet fears keep us from taking action.
We don’t notice how even these little fears keep us running in place.

When we’re stuck, our lives operate like a merry-go-around. We turn in circles, and move up and down, but ultimately go nowhere.

We’re often afraid to move in the exact direction where our greatest potential and power wait for us. When we try to move in those directions, we feel resistance. Resistance is simply hidden fear.

Another flavor of resistance is depression, sadness, and despair.
Life weighs on us, and nothing seems to matter. There’s nowhere to go, no possibility, and no choices.

What happens when we’re stuck, stopped cold by resistance/fear/sadness, and we can’t seem to move in the direction that we used to care about?

Any direction will do. We end up not caring much where we go, or where we end up. Like animals trapped in a zoo, we become disconnected from our real power, and we live only for food and other pleasures.

The Courage of Possibility
When little fears and resistance keep us trapped in a cage, we feel that there is no way out.

But often, it’s us who have given those little fears the power to imprison us.

As children, we were surrounded with wonder, joy, and possibility. How did we let that slip away from us?

How did we get to the point where often, any passing bit of pleasure or excitement can distract us, or any little fear can stop us?

We’ve traded wonder for control, possibility for safety, and joy for pleasure.

These are trades that our schools, and our society encourage us to make.

There are many good reasons why we need a stable, secure society to live in.
But the flip side of that, is that societies discourage change, and suppress unpredictable influences.

Wonder is a tremendous feeling that sees the greatness and possibility in the otherwise ordinary. Society encourages us to give up this vision, and instead focus on what use we can get from a particular person, place, or thing. Society teaches us to control the world in order to get what we want.

We do need to understand how to pursue goals. We do need to understand how to work with others, and leverage materials and tools to go after our goals.

It’s possible to have both goals and a sense of wonder.
But it’s not easy.
And someone who lives with both wonder and goals is very hard to control.

There’s nothing wrong with pleasure. We could have joy and pleasure in our lives, but joy is far more powerful, and harder for society to use to manipulate and control us.

And finally, if each of us were committed to exploring the extraordinary possibility within us, there is no imagination powerful enough to see how glorious this world would become.

One thing about that world is certain. There would be dramatic change in our society along the way.

So society encourages us to be afraid, and promises us safety, if we’ll only follow the rules, and abandon our unpredictable dreams of possibility.

We need the order of society to survive, and I generally believe in following the rules.
But not when the rules tell us to stop dreaming.

(see the related articles:

• Why Do People Use Fear to Influence You?
• How Do You Live With Fear? )