Lost Dreams

Sometimes I think of old dreams, the things that I wanted when I was much younger, and I wonder what I’ve given up by letting go of those dreams, and what I’ve gained.

When I was 10 or 11, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. I was a sickly kid, and seemed to be in the doctor’s office all the time. All those visits to the doctor might have had something to do with my desire to become a doctor, but I don’t think so.

My mother was a nurse for about 40 years, including a couple years in the army during World War 2. I think I borrowed her love of healing. That, and I’ve always been fascinated by the mystery of living things.

But somewhere in college, despite a love of science, I lost interest in medicine. I didn’t put it into words at the time, but I found something larger than science, larger than biology – I became fascinated with the mind and the spirit and their mysteries.

I might have become a psychologist or some kind of a religious leader on a couple of different occasions, but I ended up going to work in computers. And on the side, I still dreamed my dreams of mind and spirit and healing, learning and exploring.

I still want to be a healer. What do I do with this old dream whose time seems to have passed? I can keep learning and exploring my own heart and mind and spirit. But the call to heal is too big to keep inside me.

Maybe you have some old dream that won’t let go of you?  I think these old dreams are important. And, if we’re willing to be a little creative, we can update the dream. For me, this means focusing in on the feeling and need and passion behind the dream, and  finding a way to make that passion live, today, in a new form.

So how do I think I can become a healer?  The passion that holds me and shakes me and wakes me up calls upon me to help people find the best in themselves and free that greatness that is uniquely theirs. So many of our sorrows, and our deep feelings of emptiness come from living someone else’s dreams. I don’t have it all figured out just yet, but I’m working on it.

(Here’s a link to another blog post with a similar theme.)

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