Prayers and Tears and Freedom

Have your prayers ever been answered?  Did you ever make a wish, and see it come true?
I’ve seen prayers answered, not when I pushed and pushed and tried to force my wishes into existence, but when I was completely committed to those wishes, and often, when I delivered those wishes with tears.

When I think of prayer, I think of possibility.  I think of wishes and dreams. I think of connecting with an unfathomable abundance, and with freedom.

Yes, that’s right. Freedom.  I wish and pray for freedom.

I’m not enslaved outwardly.  There is no nameless, cruel taskmaster who demands that I work day and night at a worthless and hopeless task.  Yet, I still ache for freedom.

In many ways I have a wonderful life, so what am I still looking for? Fame, fortune, eternal youth?

More than anything I’m looking to free the power that hides within me, and to free the person that I can be. I yearn to line up my dreams with my actions and life. To release the greater me which lies hidden, so “I” can come out, and play and live and shine.

What’s stopping that other me?  It’s not my schedule, or finances, or people in my life who “won’t let me”. To sound selfish for a moment, it’s all about me.

It’s me who gets in the way.
It’s me whose search for contradictory goals breeds resistance and fears which hold me back.

If I’m holding myself back, what’s prayer got to do with it?
When I pray, when I wish with great passion for something, there’s something that begins to happen, independent of any answer that comes from outside of me.

The resistance and the fears that are holding me back start to crumble.  And when that wish is filled with tears, tears that won’t settle for being like this any more, I find myself young and vulnerable, and hungry for possibility and change.

But the prayers and wishes are only as powerful as the feeling behind them. “I’d kind of like to be different” just won’t do it.  Thoughts set the direction, but it’s our feelings that take us where we need to go.

And, paradoxically, when I wish for help from outside of me, I become open to the help that will come in a thousand ways – whether from others that I know, or from people and places that I’ve never heard of, or from a thoroughly capable me who is just waiting to awaken.